November 27, 2010

Vampires Suck - 2010

Directors: Jason Freidberg & Aaron Seltzer
Writers: Jason Freidberg & Aaron Seltzer
Starring: Jenn Proske, Matt Lanter, Christopher N. Riggi

It's a parody of the first two Twilight films condensed into 80 minutes.

This film was worse than Last Airbender, which is saying something. It also manages to be pitch-perfect imitation of the original series without having a single genuinely funny joke, which is a triumph in bad filmmaking. Let me turn you over to some other criticism:

"Writer/directors Friedberg and Seltzer are a scourge. They’re a plague on our cinematic landscape, a national shame, a danger to our culture, a typhoon-sized natural disaster disguised as a filmmaking team, a Hollywood monster wreaking havoc on the minds of America’s youth and setting civilization back thousands of years."

"Friedberg and Seltzer do not practice the same craft as P.T. Anderson, David Cronenberg, Michael Bay, Kevin Costner, the Zucker Brothers, the Wayans Brothers, Uwe Boll, any dad who takes shaky home movies on a camping trip, or a bear who turns on a video camera by accident while trying to eat it. They are not filmmakers. They are evildoers, charlatans, symbols of Western civilization's decline..."



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